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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Back in Business

So I have been a little out of the loop. I was away for work and came back home to find John dealing with major chaos. Even though I got in close to midnight on Wednesday, he asked me to creep in to check in on Shaila, so I could see some of what he had been dealing with.

I walked in and even in the dark, could see that she was covered in some nasty attack of the hives - we still don't know for sure - so things have been crazy.

But I am back. Sort of. Kind of half-asleep really.

While I was gone, John stepped up quite nicely and the house wasn't burnt to the ground, which I thought was a good sign when I drove up.

(It helps that our nanny, Kim, also helps to fill in the gaps for us on the whole "parenting" part of things).

So in an effort to show my appreciation for him, I just picked a fight with him about something really stupid (upstairs) so I could finally do some writing (downstairs).

Cuz that's how I show my love.

I know that I talk some serious smack about John. He has a pretty good sense of humor and he concedes that he talks a fair amount of smack about me too.

I have laughed with (hmm, AT) him in my Dear John Letter. I think many of you laughed with him (hmm. AT him) too.

He has laughed with me (and AT me) as well. Because in the end, he knows I still love him, even when he ignores me for the Dallas Cowboys.

So I wanted to list out the small, little things that make him so undeniably "husband-y" every day, and which I fail to acknowledge him for, because I am too busy calling him out on the stupid stuff that really doesn't matter so much.

1) He "sirs" and "ma'am"s EVERYONE. When we go out to eat, he shows respect and true joy when he talks to every person who serves us - whether it's the maitre d' at a swank restaurant or the bus boy at the Mexican joint we like.

I know that may sound silly, but I see how often others overlook taking the time to show their appreciation and mutual courtesy for our fellow cohorts in this crazy life. It happens when they are in a rush. Or maybe not in so much of a rush.

It's just something that not all people are "wired" to think about.

And I don't think he has to think about it either.

He just does.

His parents taught him well, but at the same time, I am glad he chose to remember the lesson.

2) The way he remembers stories from his childhood and of his important friendships. I can't tell you how many times something will happen and he will cut me off to be like, "Oh, this reminds me of the time me and my brother 'insert petty crime' when we were 8." Or, "This reminds me of the time me and X, Y and Z (from his college soccer team) got really messed up and played 'insert practical joke' on such and such."

And he will laugh. And he will shake his head. And he will share all the joys of his memories. It is true that many times, I cringe.

I think, "Seriously, what the hell was wrong with you guys?"

But it's also kind of nice. Because while the one side of my brain is processing the really ridiculous information he just gave me, another part of it is processing that maybe it doesn't have to make sense to me. And he is still friends with most of those people today, which I think counts for a lot. Even after some of those godawful practical jokes.

3) When he watches television shows, he unwittingly appoints himself as Simon Cowell. I don't know what it is, but he really is very "communicative" when he watches television. Not like he watches Oprah and says "You go on, girl!" or anything like that.

But like, the other night? We were watching a tivo'ed episode of "24." The President of an influential Middle Eastern nation (I don't know if they said which one, but geography is not my forte) is giving a speech about how even though his life may be in grave danger it is critical for world security (and for Jack Bauer to ensure that he can save the world again) that he step up his effort to create peace.

I have to admit. I got choked up. Partly because I was like, "Dude's right! Why can't we all just get along?"

But, then another part of me was all "OMG, it's Anil f%$^ing Kapoor!" remembering old Indian movies where he played the leather jacket wearing hero on a motorcycle who could kill a goonda (or thug) and break out into full choreographed dance sequences thirty seconds later.

Hubba. Hubba. My third grade heart still stops a beat.

So going back to that night - I turn to my left to look at John and I see him nodding his head. Like, really nodding his head.

As if to say, "Hey Mr. President of some unnamed foreign nation on a Fox hit series. I hear you!"

I don't think he knows how often he does it or how often I catch him doing it.

But it's kind of cute. Except when he's nodding his approval at the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

4) He holds doors. Ok, big freaking deal. You may even think most people hold doors for other members of their polite (not really) society. This is, IN FACT, not true.

But not only does John just hold the door for the next person behind him - he scopes out the whole area to ensure that there are no older folks with canes, harried moms with a stroller or just someone who looks like they could use a hand, before he walks out the door.

And as someone who has often had to find a way to navigate my stroller, bags and tired body through the doors of a store when the person in front of me could not take the time - I think it's a really cool freaking thing.

This also extends to helping people put their luggage up on overhead bins on flights. John stands up and looks around - behind us, in front of us - and checks to make sure nobody needs help.

Again, as someone who traveled extensively for work throughout both of my pregnancies, I did not realize how many people do not always help. I guess most of the time I did not need it - but at my most vulnerable (and probably least cute, which also may have contributed), there was sometimes not a soul around to offer a hand.

But isn't it just great when you don't have to ask and someone just offers. Just because?

And that's what he does. Just because.

So that concludes the last freaking lovefest for John that you will probably ever see on this stupid blog. Despite all the C.R.A.P. I give the poor man, it's some of the little things above which indicate much bigger things in respect to who is he.

This is not a brag session. Please don't take this as a "oh, my husbands so great because everyone else sucks." If you, or the people you surround yourself with, or your spouse, do any of the things above - then I want to say major props to you too.

I think that you are probably cool as shit and know how you should treat the people around you as you get through this life.

I like the way y'all roll.



Karls said...

If you can't talk smack about your husband, you're not looking deep enough, I reakon.

Micko does the door thing too... waits to see if there is anyone else who could possibly be headed in his direction before closing it. He has good manners too. Heaps to do with the way he was raised.

Glad your back bitch!

Anonymous said...

Awwww, thats so cute.

Shell said...

Aw, very sweet.

I talk alot of smack about my Hubs, but he's really a great guy. The best part is probably that he has a sense of humor and doesn't mind when I make fun of him(like posting the video of him dancing earlier this week- you must go check it out!)

Shell said...

Okay, that comment sounds really annoying- b/c I hate when people stop by my blog only to tell me to go look at theirs.

But, ya know I luv ya, girl, and am only saying that b/c I know it would make you laugh to see it.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

So sweet. I make fun of my husband all the time... in case you haven't noticed. But..... I do so with his blessing. He laughs at what I write, too.

My husband may not be that great at plumbing, but he possesses those same qualities you just mentioned. He is the guy on the highway who will stop and help change your tire or grab a chain and pull you out of the ditch.....

Ams said...

Oh poor Shaila! How is she doing? Are you going to take her to the doctors? Poor little girl :( Sick babies are the hardest...

As for the hubby... I am the hardest on S. I think we are the hardest on the people we love... and we know they are always going to be there so we can get away with that business ;) I love all the finer points though... I think it's good to write it all down sometimes... helps us remember it all!!

Welcome back lovely lady!

Ruby said...

Hope Shaila is doing better your hubby must have been freaking out. As my hub says why does the chaos always happen when you leave. lol i think the kids like to test him.

As for your hubby sounds like you love to give him a hard time but he sounds like hes just the one for you. Isnt love grand!

I'm kinda mean to the hubby sometimes too i.e. i know he hates it when you poke him to get up so i do it anyways. i know he cant be mad at me forever so i get away with what i can.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Well, this was a lovely tribute and I think John deserves it. I mean, he told you to pull me off the ledge when my Bolts lost and he doesn't even know me. But he thought about my feelings.

Yeah, he's a keeper.

And thank god you're back. You can't just up and leave like that again, girl.

Ams said...

I'm with Monique too... no up and leaving anymore. Otherwise, her and I are going to hunt you down and find you!

Ruth J said...

did you go to australia for work, like you mentioned in a previous blog entry? if so, how was it?

glad you're back!

Sarah said...

I think it's really nice to hear these lovely things about your husband. And I really like to hear about the whole "door" thing. Doors being slammed in my face are a pet peeve (I feel like it happens to me, like, five times a day. With a stroller, no less).
(By the way, glad you are back!)

Lemon Gloria said...

Sorry to hear about the hives - stress! Poor little girl!

And I like the things you like about your husband. The politeness to others and the holding of doors are HUGE with me. I think less of people who don't bother to be polite to people they don't think matter in their lives.

Amy said...

Yay! Kiran's back!!!

Your husband sounds like a great guy! I have one of those as well, and I don't tell him nearly enough.

Mike also does the door thing. He's just super thoughtful in general. Really nice.

Also, once when I was at the gym, I was trying to carry my son and our lunch and a high chair. A man rushed over to us and carried the high chair for me. I was so touched. Thankfully there are some kind people in this world.

Glad we're both married to two of them;)

The Only Girl said...

Awww . . . sounds like he's a keeper. Love the Sir and Ma'am thing! I think I'll start training my boys to do that.

MiMi said...

Awww, seriously? He sounds SO cute! Sir and ma'am's are sadly out of style here. I would love if more people did that!

MiMi said...

Also, your daughter had hives cuz she missed ya...I bet.

Salt said...

But your husband does sound so great! Everyone should surround themselves with people like that. Manners are hard to come by these days unfortunately.

Holy crap I was going through severe withdrawal while you were gone. I kept checking to see if you were here like some kind of blog junkie. WELCOME BACK!!!

Meagan@Megs7827 said...

Those are great qualities in a man. I hope your baby is ok.

Liz C. said...

Aw, your husband sounds like a quality guy! My husband is big on the door opening thing and gets upset when I open the door for myself and don't give him the chance to open it for me. haha :)

Btw, I hope Utah treated you well.

Anna See said...

Loved these observations about your husband. He sounds great!

p.s. I pick fights so I can blog, too.

Anonymous said...

Your hubs sounds as cool as mine. And they are both quite the Simon Cowell. Actually my hubs throws things at the TV.

It's the only way to get out aggression? I don't know. Just guessin.


Confessions From A Working Mom said...

Your husband sounds like a prince... and oddly, a lot like my own DH. Hmmm, I guess I've managed to overlook that lately. When he gets a little sumpin sumpin extra tonight in bed, he's going to have you to thank!

Confessions From A Working Mom

Tracie said...

One of the best things about all your husband's good manners and niceness is that your son will be like him someday.

I'm glad you're back! I hope Shaila is better soon.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Is it ok if I secretly love your hubby from a far? He sounds like a great guy.

Sara said...

Your husband sounds like a gentleman, and I love that.

I love people that are polite. I mean, to everyone. Especially those in service positions.

Good man.

Allyson said...

I don't know if you were reading yet, but I ended up doing one of these "I love my husband because...." since I had been blogging for almost a year about all of his "shortcomings." Sometimes, you just gotta give 'em some props. Especially when you pick fights over the little when I returned from the 3 day trip to my sister's and IMMEDIATELY yelled at him about dripping coffee grinds all over the kitchen floor. Not my finest moment.

It sounds like John is a true gentleman! And having respect for everyone, even people he doesn't know, is quite a mark of good character. I bet he really is a great husband and father!

And welcome back. YOu were greatly missed!!

Kate@And Then I Was a Mom said...

I can't let my husband see this post, since he'll suddenly realize there are wives who DON'T harp all day. Really, he has to live cowed in fear or this marriage will never work.

However: Nice post. And I really appreciate the holding-doors thing. It's amazing how often it never occurs to some people to just wait a second for the person behind you.

AJ said...

awww nice for you!

I am sure your hubby appreciates your thought!

Shandal said...

You're a lucky wifey! He sounds very sweet! I hope Shaila gets better soon!


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