Back in Business

So I have been a little out of the loop. I was away for work and came back home to find John dealing with major chaos. Even though I got in close to midnight on Wednesday, he asked me to creep in to check in on Shaila, so I could see some of what he had been dealing with.

I walked in and even in the dark, could see that she was covered in some nasty attack of the hives - we still don't know for sure - so things have been crazy.

But I am back. Sort of. Kind of half-asleep really.

While I was gone, John stepped up quite nicely and the house wasn't burnt to the ground, which I thought was a good sign when I drove up.

(It helps that our nanny, Kim, also helps to fill in the gaps for us on the whole "parenting" part of things).

So in an effort to show my appreciation for him, I just picked a fight with him about something really stupid (upstairs) so I could finally do some writing (downstairs).

Cuz that's how I show my love.

I know that I talk some serious smack about John. He has a pretty good sense of humor and he concedes that he talks a fair amount of smack about me too.

I have laughed with (hmm, AT) him in my Dear John Letter. I think many of you laughed with him (hmm. AT him) too.

He has laughed with me (and AT me) as well. Because in the end, he knows I still love him, even when he ignores me for the Dallas Cowboys.

So I wanted to list out the small, little things that make him so undeniably "husband-y" every day, and which I fail to acknowledge him for, because I am too busy calling him out on the stupid stuff that really doesn't matter so much.

1) He "sirs" and "ma'am"s EVERYONE. When we go out to eat, he shows respect and true joy when he talks to every person who serves us - whether it's the maitre d' at a swank restaurant or the bus boy at the Mexican joint we like.

I know that may sound silly, but I see how often others overlook taking the time to show their appreciation and mutual courtesy for our fellow cohorts in this crazy life. It happens when they are in a rush. Or maybe not in so much of a rush.

It's just something that not all people are "wired" to think about.

And I don't think he has to think about it either.

He just does.

His parents taught him well, but at the same time, I am glad he chose to remember the lesson.

2) The way he remembers stories from his childhood and of his important friendships. I can't tell you how many times something will happen and he will cut me off to be like, "Oh, this reminds me of the time me and my brother 'insert petty crime' when we were 8." Or, "This reminds me of the time me and X, Y and Z (from his college soccer team) got really messed up and played 'insert practical joke' on such and such."

And he will laugh. And he will shake his head. And he will share all the joys of his memories. It is true that many times, I cringe.

I think, "Seriously, what the hell was wrong with you guys?"

But it's also kind of nice. Because while the one side of my brain is processing the really ridiculous information he just gave me, another part of it is processing that maybe it doesn't have to make sense to me. And he is still friends with most of those people today, which I think counts for a lot. Even after some of those godawful practical jokes.

3) When he watches television shows, he unwittingly appoints himself as Simon Cowell. I don't know what it is, but he really is very "communicative" when he watches television. Not like he watches Oprah and says "You go on, girl!" or anything like that.

But like, the other night? We were watching a tivo'ed episode of "24." The President of an influential Middle Eastern nation (I don't know if they said which one, but geography is not my forte) is giving a speech about how even though his life may be in grave danger it is critical for world security (and for Jack Bauer to ensure that he can save the world again) that he step up his effort to create peace.

I have to admit. I got choked up. Partly because I was like, "Dude's right! Why can't we all just get along?"

But, then another part of me was all "OMG, it's Anil f%$^ing Kapoor!" remembering old Indian movies where he played the leather jacket wearing hero on a motorcycle who could kill a goonda (or thug) and break out into full choreographed dance sequences thirty seconds later.


Hubba. Hubba. My third grade heart still stops a beat.

So going back to that night - I turn to my left to look at John and I see him nodding his head. Like, really nodding his head.

As if to say, "Hey Mr. President of some unnamed foreign nation on a Fox hit series. I hear you!"

I don't think he knows how often he does it or how often I catch him doing it.

But it's kind of cute. Except when he's nodding his approval at the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

4) He holds doors. Ok, big freaking deal. You may even think most people hold doors for other members of their polite (not really) society. This is, IN FACT, not true.

But not only does John just hold the door for the next person behind him - he scopes out the whole area to ensure that there are no older folks with canes, harried moms with a stroller or just someone who looks like they could use a hand, before he walks out the door.

And as someone who has often had to find a way to navigate my stroller, bags and tired body through the doors of a store when the person in front of me could not take the time - I think it's a really cool freaking thing.

This also extends to helping people put their luggage up on overhead bins on flights. John stands up and looks around - behind us, in front of us - and checks to make sure nobody needs help.

Again, as someone who traveled extensively for work throughout both of my pregnancies, I did not realize how many people do not always help. I guess most of the time I did not need it - but at my most vulnerable (and probably least cute, which also may have contributed), there was sometimes not a soul around to offer a hand.

But isn't it just great when you don't have to ask and someone just offers. Just because?

And that's what he does. Just because.

So that concludes the last freaking lovefest for John that you will probably ever see on this stupid blog. Despite all the C.R.A.P. I give the poor man, it's some of the little things above which indicate much bigger things in respect to who is he.

This is not a brag session. Please don't take this as a "oh, my husbands so great because everyone else sucks." If you, or the people you surround yourself with, or your spouse, do any of the things above - then I want to say major props to you too.

I think that you are probably cool as shit and know how you should treat the people around you as you get through this life.

I like the way y'all roll.

XOXO,
Kiran