Confessions

So, I have a confession to make. It's terribly embarrassing and also indicates that I have a really strong need for you to like me and an even worse sense of vanity.

It's worse than telling you that I used to take hours to straighten my hair and that I used to know the people at the MAC counter so well that they sent me Christmas cards.

Not that I'm saying I ever did those things. Those are just examples.

Here goes . . . .

I count my followers.

I get SOOO pumped when new ones join under that "It's OK to be a Follower" section on the left hand nav of this page.

(Yes, over there <--------------------).

So the other day, I realized that I lost a Follower. Now to de-"follow" someone, you actually have to take a step that's REALLY a few steps to remove them from your "Blogs You Follow" List. So three days ago, I lost a Follower. This casualty was a sad one for me.

I am ashamed to say it, but at the same time, I will be straight with you, because if nothing else, I feel like I owe it to myself and you, to be honest.

At first I wondered who it was. I wondered if it was something I said? But then I just kind of came to the following realization.

It was probably all the cursing.

Oops.

I know that over the past few weeks I made a big 'To do" about a whole lot 'O nothing, mainly the fact that I was going to make an effort to stop cursing. So I picked up a few followers here and there, and they probably thought, "Oh, she's a nice girl. She tells cute stories AND she keeps it clean."

But then over the past weeks, I find that I have resorted back to my old (ok, not that old), BAD habits.

And maybe, well maybe, some of you haven't recognized me.

And I also realized that trying to be someone you are NOT is no good. You know how you can try and TRY and TRY to be everything to everybody and then nobody ends up being happy? And then they drink too much and have to take prescription anti-depressants?

That kind of unhappy?

Sometimes I just need to TRY a little less. I think we all do.

The only way that I am going to keep it real here is by really telling you who I am.

So here it goes. (Deep breath).

1) I curse. I try not to at home and when I speak. I try. That's all I can do.

2) If I do curse in this blog, I will make every effort to do things like use cool symbols like %, $, #, @, and !. I find that they are generally underused and deserve some action too.

If seeing something like f%$# or h@$% upsets you, I understand and applaud you for not being as numb to profanity as I have become.

What can I say?

I'm from Jersey.

Exit 10, baby.

3) I can be snarky. I can be sarcastic. I try to be a good person. Again, I try. I would say I am 90% nice and 10% bitch-lite. If you are ok with that, cool. I definitely appreciate the company.

4) I drink. I definitely like my wine. I will tell stories sometimes in which wine is involved. If you want to stick around and are against this, you are free to replace wine with "Orangina" or something else. Or if it offends you, I also understand.

5) I make fun of my kids. I love them, but yes, I definitely make fun of them too. It's how I show my love. I can see how some may find that obnoxious. I think most of my family does.

Like, I can tell my dad gets mad when I refer to Shaila as "Spaz #1." (I only do this behind her back, so really, it's ok). But I am his daughter so he resigns himself to it. And he just doesn't read my blog that often.

That's cool, Papa.

You know me well enough to know that's just how I roll.

6) I give my husband a lot of C.R.A.P. (That's in caps on purpose. There is no point to all the periods in that, except it looked less crass to write it that way).

7) I get defensive about all things Indian and related to my culture. At the same time, I dish it out myself. (But I guess I am one of those who can't take it). As Surferwife mentioned in a previous post, she would not want to be near me in a dark alley if I was armed with a samosa.

8) I try not to offend. Again, I TRY. But sometimes, I just can't help it. I certainly don't mean to.

So, I just felt like I needed to put this all out there. To give you a chance to re-evaluate whether you are really "with me" or kind of ready to go through the three steps or whatnot to be "not with me."

If you do stick along for the ride and if I ever say anything that is even a little "teensy" bit out of line, please feel free to take a break from me, send me an email explaining your feelings so we can "hug it out" and of course, de-follow if you feel you must.

But I hope we continue to roll together. I know I may have scared off a few of you with my spaz-tastic Date Night Lessons (and then I ask myself where Shaila gets it from? Maybe I should just call myself Spaz Senior? Don't answer, strictly rhetorical).

I will try not to go Jerry Springer on you guys. Although I will have to share a few times about how I have gone Jerry Springer in the past. But I am trying to put those days behind me.

Try being the operative word.

XOXO,
Kiran