Too Spicy for Me

Hey all you splendiferous Friday readers! Thanks for taking part in the blog swap yesterday. And for not feeling too cheap after the, uh, swap. Variety is good, you know? Go make sure to visit Surferwife when you can and make sure she knows you love her and will cheer her on from your couch when she trains for this triathlon.

Now, here's a little post I like to call "Too Spicy for Me" . . .

When my daughter, Shaila, reaches for something I'd rather she not eat or drink, I resort to doing what is necessary to maintain what limited order I have in my life. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Which means, it's time to use a little "Spicy Technique" to try to discourage it.

Now, given my propensity to cook with lots of pepper and hot chillies whenever possible, she does know what "spicy" means at the age of 2 1/2.

I usually back off on it when I am cooking for all of us, but sometimes I get a little overzealous and I find myself throwing in one hot pepper too many.

Oops. I slipped. Darn.

But it sure does taste good. And we have a 5 lb bag of Chicken Nuggets from Costco that I can always fall back on for her during these "accidents."

She is adapting well. Listen, it IS about adapting. When I was growing up in my Indian household, when we would order pizza, the first condiment we'd have on the table was the crushed red pepper which we would liberally sprinkle on our New York Style, thin crust pizza slices.

We would then hold the pizza in one hand and a fresh green mircha (chilli) from my mother's garden in the other.

I mean, it was more like the condiment was the pizza versus the other way around. We have always liked our food hot.

And Shaila's tolerance for spice seems to increase daily. But, she is still a "Green Belt" to my "Black Belt" in spicy and she knows when to back off, usually.

So when Shaila reaches for the "devil's juice" (Caffeine-laden soda on a 2 1/2 year old is a BAD idea) or something I'd rather she NOT eat, I employ my universal deterrent.

"That's TOO spicy," I tell her.

"Too spicy?" She'll ask, already backing off. "Shaila doesn't yike too spicy," she'll shake her head and hold up her two little tiny hands.

I pat myself on the back and walk away, proud of being able to have mastered some of the fine art of manipulating my children.

But the other day, she surprised me. She saw me reaching for a Perrier from the frig and immediately was ALL over it.

"Mommy, what are you having?"

"It's called a Perrier, honey. And it's too, too spicy."

"Oh. Cool. Mommy, today, Shaila yikes spicy. I want some Pear-Yay."

So I poured some into her Little Mermaid sippy cup, certain she would semi-gag on the highly carbonated beverage.

Nope. She loved it.

"More?" she asked. "I yike Pear-Yay. I yike too spicy."

Yeah, I knew you would one day, Shaila. You ARE my daughter.

So now, when we sit down for dinner, Daddy gets himself a water and fills up my glass and Shaila's Elmo sippy cup with some spicy, spicy Perrier.

Because that's just how we roll.

So now that "spicy" isn't a bad word in our house, I am wondering what I'm going to say to make what is "off limits" less appealing. I have thought of the following, but don't really know if they are appropriate.

Scenario:
Shaila reaches for a carelessly available piece of candy off the counter.

Possible Response:
I wouldn't do that if I were you. Someone kidnapped your Barney and they said if you eat junkfood, he is going to die.

No, that seems a little extreme. Dismemberment might be enough to do it.

It's a shame it had to come to this Mr. B

Scenario:
Shaila disobeys my request not to grab Daddy's open beer from the table. She gets it, is able to drink some and looks at me expectantly, knowing I am not happy.

"Mmmm. Beer. I yike Daddy's beer," she licks her lips.

Again, she IS my daughter. Makes sense that this would happen.

Possible Response:
It's a shame you did that. (Pick up her pink Minnie Mouse cell phone and fake dial). Hello - is this the police? I'm going to need you to come here and take Elmo and Mickey into custody. Yes, come immediately. (Fake listen) Yes, I know. If ONLY she'd listened to Mommy.

Sorry to have to do this to you Mickey.

So I don't know what approach I will be using. But before you report me to the authorities (no, not on your fake Minnie Mouse phone), just know that I am kidding.

Kind of.

xoxo,
Kiran