My Big Fat Indian Wedding

So, many of you (ok, ok, it was just two of y'all) have asked how John and I managed the whole multi-religion, multi-cultural thingamajig.

Officially? With grace and dignity and acceptance of all our differences.

Really?

Nah. We're running around like chickens with our heads cut off. That is OFF the record, of course.

Quick recap. I am a second generation Indian-American. Hubby's Dad is Italian. His Mom is Puerto-Rican.

Our babies are Quarter-Ricans.

Got it? Good.

And to make things more confusing, I will also tell you this. While I am the one who is Indian, this is what my husband looks like:


Yeah - I know. Straight out of Bollywood.* So, I understand if you are confused.

(*Friends, if you don't know what Bollywood is, you need to come to Masala Chica and we need to have a little talk, kaysies?)

Moving right along.

When people talk about how stressful wedding planning is, I usually have to yell a big "Hallelujah!" Even if they weren't talking to me, and were perhaps just talking about it on the train. You know, while I eavesdropped.

Because wedding planning is hard. Or as my daughter says, "It's HURD, Mommy."

But here is where I am going to try to one-up you. I promise I won't try to do this often. Just let me feel like I bear the bigger burden today. Deal?

Here is what most of my friends have had to work with:

1 Wedding
1 Dress
Many crazy relatives
Many crazy friends
1 crazy mom
1 reception hall
A limo

Here is what I had:

Long distance wedding (Lived in VA, had the wedding in NJ)
2 ceremonies
350 guests
3 caterers
3 devastating deaths in our family that year
1 asshole reception hall manager
3 wedding dresses
60 Crazy relatives
LOTS of drunk, out of state friends
And a partridge in a pair tree (seriously, it's part of the Indian ceremony).

Gotcha.

So it was rough. I was a wreck. I cursed a lot. I drank even more. I forgot to eat. And I yelled at John every day.

All in all, it was a fairy tale. for Cinder-freaking-rella.

Anyway - here is kind of a pictorial recap. All pictures here are courtesy of my kickass wedding photographer, Jeffrey Vock.

Getting ready. At 5 AM. I was hungover from the rehearsal dinner. Can't tell? Good. Then I'm just kidding.

On the way to the church, getting pictures taken at the park

During the Catholic ceremony. I don't know what was so funny. But I looked like I could use a sandwich.

The Henna that had been meticulously painted on and had to dry for 10 hours on my hands the week of the wedding. This is the beautiful stain that remains.

My parents dancing because they will be rid of me after this day. People think I am joking, but this is very true. When John asked for their permission to marry me, my mother said, "Thank you, Thank you!" and burst into tears. John didn't know whether to say "You're Welcome" or run for the hills.

The barat (No, not BORAT. BARAT) - when the groom's family meets the bride's family. Usually people will get a horse or an Elephant for the groom. We got a Rolls Royce because I didn't want to have to deal with poop. (I kinda had my hands full at this point).

John got thrown around. Doesn't he look like Aladdin there?

My older sisters (two of my favorite women in the world) walked me in to the Indian ceremony.

My cute little toesies. They usually don't look this nice.
Looking down. Yeah, definitely not.

I think someone just wacked me on the head with a flower. Thanks, Aaron Jackson. (350 guests and I still saw you do it).

After we were allowed to have our first drink that day. Notice my eyes have already started to glaze over.

Foxtrotting to "The Way You Look Tonight". If you know John, Sinatra was the only right choice.

Big Party. Lots of Dancing. The dance floor was full. Tables empty.

I got thrown around.

So did John. Again. (See Barat)

The Tarantella happened at some point.

Then I told everybody to go home. "Shoo!" I said.
Ok, I didn't but if I did, would you blame me? Aren't you tired just looking at 1/100th of my wedding pictures?

Yes, my photographer gave me 1500 pictures. He shot in film.

For those of you who only know digital and don't even know what 1500 film shots MEANS, all I have to say is, it's CUH-RAZY.

So going back to how we do this whole multi-cultural thingamajig? It's a lot like what our wedding looked like.

It's absolute chaos and makes me 100% certifiable EVERY DAY.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

XOXO,
Kiran