When Good Indian Food Happens to Bad People

After the positivity of yesterday's post you know I am just ready to let loose the demons that I have tried to keep quiet. "Quiet, you!" I yell over my left shoulder. They complain a little but will generally retreat. I shake my head vigorously and say "Demons OUT!" and shake a little harder to loosen the ones still in residence. It seems quite effective.

At the very least it is effective at drawing frightened glances from John.

Good. Now I can think. Is it just me or is Thinking HARD? Sometimes more than I can handle. I felt like I did too much thinking during the other night's Top Chef Finale and now my brain is mush and I am still no closer to being able to cook for riz-eal.

But today I wanted to share with you one of my pet peeves which many of you may not be aware of. And don't even assume that I am being rational. I know that this is very irrational.

I really don't like it when people tell me they don't like Indian food.

Often misunderstood, the curry just needs a chance

I don't know why I take it so personally. I know you don't mean to hurt my feelings but I really really hate it.

I feel like often times, when people realize I am an Indian American, one of the first comments I will hear is "oh I love Indian food." This comes after at least ten other people inform me that "they don't like Indian food, because they don't like cumin" or something like that.

Why does it bug me? Maybe because I know how much the food and the culture is intertwined for me. With our special events, the food was an integral part of all of it and so in many ways, its hard for me to hear that you don't care for the food, because food is so much a part of our culture.

So I make this instant assumption:

I Don't like your food = I Don't Like your Culture = I hate you people and your stinking curry.

Gandhi was one of my people. So if you don't like Bhindi Masala - it means you don't like Gandhi.

What did Gandhi ever do to you?

(I said it wasn't rationale and I am fully aware you think I am crazy but sometimes it's just better to put it all out there)

Maybe I am overly-sensitive about it. It makes me feel bewildered and sad. Like this.



I get it. Some people really just don't like any spices beyond salt and pepper. But I think if I can be open to trying some of the crap I have tried over the course of my life, you could maybe humor me and have a piece of naan with some tandoori chicken.

That's not too spicy, is it?

And I mean, you're really going to balk at chicken curry? It's tomatoes, chicken, seasoning, onions and garlic. who doesn't like that? It doesn't have to be spicy either. We Indians are very willing to work with you and we like to ensure that people are fed, maybe even more than my Italian relatives do.

So just a hint, next time you see me and want to tell me all about how you "could like indian food, but you're not crazy about cilantro or something," just keep it to yourself. Pick up some Taco Bell and eat it in the car before you get to my house. Say you have the stomach flu and don't eat what I'm serving you.

But stop telling me you don't like Indian food. It's like a dagger in me. After you tell me, I usually go to the bathroom and have a good cry about it and then I come out and figure out what the heck I am supposed to feed you now.

If you don't want to eat my mom's samosas, please know that I will judge you. If you can't dip your roti in the lamb curry, I will snort at you behind my hand, and loud enough for you to know. When you pick at a yummy kabob and think you're too good for it, I will walk over, slap that kabob out of your hand and say - yes! get your stinking hands off that kabob.

Give me back those stinking kabobs. They're too good for you.

When John and I got married, we had to have multiple caterers - for his Italian side of the family we catered in Italian food and for the Indian side we catered in Indian. So many people adamantly told John - hey you better make sure there is something for us to eat. So we represented across the ethnic board. Ironically - most of the Italian food was not eaten and everybody braved up and had the Indian food because it smelled so good.

When in Rome, John.

Or maybe I should say, when in Delhi. People will eat chappati and Rogan Josh. It you serve it, they will eat it. Especially if you get them really really boozed up in advance. (There WAS a lot of booze. They must have thought the naan was garlic bread or something).

Our reception where Italians and Indians danced and ate in harmony

So just telling you. If I serve you Indian food and you don't happen to like it - slip it in your napkin and feed it to our neighbor's dog. Don't tell me you don't like it because I am still hormonal and I can't be trusted to respond appropriately other than maybe throwing my samosa at your head.

This looks light but I have wielded it before and caused someone intense pain

And just to reiterate, your dislike will always be a wedge in a our relationship, I am just being honest. So you go on judging and acting like you know what the bloody hell you are talking about and I'll make sure never to offer you my mom's famous chicken biryani.

There's only one SUCKA in that situation and its not me.

xoxo,
Kiran