Paging Dr. McGupta

E.R. The show that catapulted George Clooney's career in a way that "Facts of Life" never could.

Well, Hello, George!

House.

What's wrong with this picture?

Grey's Anatomy. We forgot about Patrick Dempsey after "Can't Buy Me Love" but it made us look again.

Nice. You're Definitely McSomething.

Some things just get better with age.

But I digress. Because that's not my point today.

Now, I don't know if you have noticed, but these medical shows all present a really, really inaccurate depiction of hospitals, at least as far as I know them.

In fact, I have been to many a hospital in my day so I consider myself to be a "connoiseur" of sorts.

Here's the thing. ER went about 7 seasons in before they introduced an Indian Doctor. And it was probably because one of the Casting Directors saw "Bend it Like Beckham" and realized the error of his or her ways.

Now, House, ehhh. Maybe 5 seasons before Kal Penn came on board? (Don't even get me started on the choice of Kal Penn. You'd think he was the only Indian male actor in the United States.)

I can just imagine it now. The casting director talking to his assistant:

"Hey, it looks like they need to cast some Indian or Arab looking guy on 24 as a terrorist. Call Kal and see if he's available."

And so it goes. Kal is now working at the White House (I mean it. Really. Really.) so now there won't be any Indian males on television for a long time.

The problem I have with these shows, is while I think it's all great to see "McDreamy" and "McSteamy" and McRedhead Guy whose McDoing Sandra Oh on the show (I don't think they gave him a name yet), where the heck is McPatel and McShah?

(For the rest of this post, I will speak as if I am one of the characters on Grey's Anatomy. This means, I will repeat everything at least twice. Two times. Everyone else has noticed that annoying habit of those writers, right? right?)

So, going back to the lack of Indian doctors on any of these shows.

Seriously? Seriously?

Have you been to a hospital in the United States in the past ten years? I don't care if you are in freaking Iowa, much less a metropolitan area - but half of the freaking staff is Indian. Indian!

So don't go telling me that the only Indian on staff is a freaking Psych resident. If an Indian was going to be a Doctor, his parents would kill him if he did not go into neurology or cardiology.

Bullshit. Bullshit.

In other words, that bull has shit.

You know - I know that TV is a fantasy world. I have never had a doctor who looks like Patrick Dempsey, and don't think I haven't tried. I've tried. I've tried.

To the writers of these shows, I really, really question what the hell hospital you think you are running there. Maybe its because you figured if all the Doctors were Indian you couldn't weave all your "sexy-time" stories into the mix, and maybe you're right given the Puritanical nature of most Indians, but seriously? seriously?

I hope that it becomes more commonplace to see minorities represented on television in realistic depictions of what they do. That means for every time you freaking present me with a show with an Indian 7-11 owner, do me one better and show me Dr. Singh in Cardiology.

Because otherwise, I wonder what crock of shit you're really trying to sell me here.

So yeah - I'm an angry Indian American. I get that I am a little "angsty" about these things. But what do you expect from me? Seriously - the only Indian I ever saw on television growing up to represent my "peeps" was Apu on the Simpsons.

Apu - my one and only role model on television

What the f%^$^ is up with that? What's up with that?

Now all of a sudden you might be hip with us Indians. Ooohh, Slumdog. That was a great movie. I loved Slumdog, you might say. I love, lurve Indians. Padma Lakshmi is sooo great on Top Chef. That Sanjay Gupta is so great at giving medical advice!

I guess I should be grateful that I can finally find a face that resembles mine represented on the big and small screen. I am grateful actually. Incredibly grateful. Because I feel like my existence is starting to be validated in some way by mainstream culture.

I used to say that if aliens invaded our planet and tried to learn about us by watching our television shows, they would have no idea that someone like me even existed in the United States.

Think back on the television shows of the past two decades. Do you remember seeing anyone who looked like me?

That's me. The one on the right.

So to the casting directors who are trying to make television resemble some semblance of reality (not like reality TV as in "The Jersey Shore" but I mean REAL reality), I have one thing to say.

Pick me. Choose me. Love me. (I hated when she said that to him. I seriously wanted to smack her and tell her to stop grovelling and to go have Dr. Jindal from Radiology paged. He would have treated her right). But seriously. I know there are some cute Indians out there you can tap for your roles. And just because Kal is busy being all governmental and all that - it doesn't mean I want to wait another twenty years before I see another Indian Doctor on House.

Seriously. Seriously.