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Sunday, December 20, 2009

I'll Be as Pretty as I Wanna Be

I don't know if anyone's noticed, but I really try to avoid the following on any pictures of me on Facebook or in my blog.

1) No double chin
2) No spinach in my teeth
3) No hint of a tummy
4) No bad hair (or at least no ridiculously frizzy hair)
5) No leg hair

What can I say? I'm a GREAT editor.

Because it's a painstaking process for me to decide which pictures make the cut. Hundreds and hundreds of .jpegs have been ignored and neglected (but still haven't made it to the trash bin because I realized that while I looked like a hag, someone else looked cute in them) in order for me to find even a FEW pictures that I think were ok to display.

Because in some ways, Facebook and maybe even this blog are like having a high school reunion ON MY TERMS. This is fantastic because it's like I have been able to hire a personal trainer, get rid of the circles under my eyes and tell you all about how great I am, and you can't even question it.

Well - if you're smart and you know me, of course you question it. But you haven't been able to flat out call me out on it.

(or maybe you're too nice).

I'll try not to test you too hard.

So I get to sit on my little bloggy pedestal and tell you again how I'm a victim, how I'm just misunderstood and how nobody likes little Indian girls who dream of world peace.

It's a comfy pedestal. I REALLY like it.

This frustrates John. I know it. He knows it. He's like - "You get to tell a story - but it's your version! And somebody called me a turd!"

Hmmm. This is true. (Sorry, Husband). Somebody called him that after the "Dear John" letter and that's not right. (I mean, don't get me wrong. I had a good laugh about it). But in the end, he IS my husband, so I had to delete it.

But apparently NOT before he saw it.

So I apologized again to John and informed him that his only recourse is to start his own blog and start his version of reality because I'm sticking to mine.

But what he said made me pause. Because I have been telling you, my friends, a big lie about who I really am. Because in the past, these are the kinds of pictures of myself I would deem worthy of posting:


Me in my rock star days. Another day. Another post.

But really, this is a more accurate description of what John has to see every day.



Yes - that's Shaila. But behind Shaila, you will see someone with her eyes rolling in the back of her head who looks like she is possessed. Like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist."

That's me. Granted - it's when I had gone into labor (and didn't realize it) and gave birth to Nico not many hours after this was taken. (And no - Shaila doesn't walk around in Indian clothes and bindis on most normal days - but that was a special day). I will tell you about that day tomorrow, but tonight I just wanted to set the record straight.

And so friends, after much photo sorting, selection, editing and ultimate dismissal is done - what I USUALLY show you see is what John really wishes I looked like most days.

I am all for pulling the wool over your eyes but I felt like I needed to come clean. Especially after someone called John a you know what.

Again - sorry about that husband.

Cuz I know you have to deal with the un-Photoshopped me day in, day out. And yet you still love me.

Sucker.

Kiran

20 comments:

Paige said...

Just stopping in to say Hello from SITS! Hope you have a great week!

Courtney D said...

Love that! I, too, like to put my best "face" forward. Even if that face is photoshopped beyond recognition! Can't wait to hear about the rock star days! DO TELL!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Your blog looks BEE U TIFUL! I love it. Though it isn't quite as hot as the writer behind the blog....

xoxo

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Nice post! I am not big on picture either.

Stopping from SITS!

Sarah said...

Love this post! I also love how we can edit things that appear on the internet - the wonder of the internet - haha!

lumuhuku said...

Very very interesting post and the flow from the past to the present and 'gory' ;-) details of photoshopping life was a real fun to read.

Lisa said...

It is funny, having your own blog. Because you get to tell the story from your perspective, and often, it doesn't exactly flatter your husband. Nick sometimes gets peeved about this as well, when I've presented him in an unflattering light.

Anna See said...

I have had to tell Tom a few times, well you don't have a blog. Let's hope he never gets one!

BTW, Mom is in charge of the camera and gets final say on any photos released to the public.

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

This is my first time stopping by your blog from SITS, and I already adore you! I am also guilty of editing out all bad photos of me that end up on the interwebs, and I love how you put it-- "A high school reunion on my terms." Perfect!!!

I love the Linda Blair/Exorcist reference... girl, if you were in labor than ALL is forgiven!

~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com

Masala Chica said...

Thanks for admitting I am not the only one guys. That makes me feel MUCH MUCH better. I still feel bad for John (but not too, too bad).
kiran

Rachel said...

Stopping by from SITS and I am so glad I did!!! I jumped over to read your "dear john" post... so funny!

Judy Kim said...

Ha! Loved this post, Kiran. :-) I don't mind posting FB pics of myself in which I look like a total goof. Sometimes I prefer it. :-) There's one that I had as my profile pic for a while, in which I was gripping the wheel of a Wii controller, eyes wide, teeth gritted, nostrils flaring. Caption: DWA!

Kimberly said...

Fun!

I was going to do my 2nd vlog after I hit 50 followers, but if I do before this growth goes away I will have to put it off until my face is clear again.

Have a Great Christmas! I hope you enjoy all the fun of the season with your family

Kathy's Klothesline said...

This is why I will not have a web cam..... you can't edit!

Kate@And Then I Was a Mom said...

The worst is when people put pictures of me on Facebook and I look bad but don't notice them for days. There really should be more Facebook etiquette when it comes to this. Something along the lines of "Post a pic of me in which I look double-chinned, pregnant, or neckless and prepare to be shot." Perhaps I shall initiate this.

In other news, you look great even in the "possessed" pic. I'm jealous. (I never put pics of myself on my blog. Too scary. Me, I mean.)

Veronica Lee said...

Hi! I'm visiting from MBC. Great blog.

kys said...

I like to joke with people that I'm Amish and can't have my picture taken.

PS Love the new digs! Very nice!

Blasé said...

I used to be one handsome dude!

Kristin said...

Hello hotness. Holy fabulous rockstar pic! I HATE it when people tag me in unflattering pics on FB. Totally vain. Oh well. That's how I roll apparently. Ah ha. That little lady of yours is straight adorable!

Fashion Police said...

But at the end of the day u can't Photoshop what's on the inside.
So as long as thats beautiful, you're all set :)
I love ur Blog btw!

 

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