I'll Be as Pretty as I Wanna Be

I don't know if anyone's noticed, but I really try to avoid the following on any pictures of me on Facebook or in my blog.

1) No double chin
2) No spinach in my teeth
3) No hint of a tummy
4) No bad hair (or at least no ridiculously frizzy hair)
5) No leg hair

What can I say? I'm a GREAT editor.

Because it's a painstaking process for me to decide which pictures make the cut. Hundreds and hundreds of .jpegs have been ignored and neglected (but still haven't made it to the trash bin because I realized that while I looked like a hag, someone else looked cute in them) in order for me to find even a FEW pictures that I think were ok to display.

Because in some ways, Facebook and maybe even this blog are like having a high school reunion ON MY TERMS. This is fantastic because it's like I have been able to hire a personal trainer, get rid of the circles under my eyes and tell you all about how great I am, and you can't even question it.

Well - if you're smart and you know me, of course you question it. But you haven't been able to flat out call me out on it.

(or maybe you're too nice).

I'll try not to test you too hard.

So I get to sit on my little bloggy pedestal and tell you again how I'm a victim, how I'm just misunderstood and how nobody likes little Indian girls who dream of world peace.

It's a comfy pedestal. I REALLY like it.

This frustrates John. I know it. He knows it. He's like - "You get to tell a story - but it's your version! And somebody called me a turd!"

Hmmm. This is true. (Sorry, Husband). Somebody called him that after the "Dear John" letter and that's not right. (I mean, don't get me wrong. I had a good laugh about it). But in the end, he IS my husband, so I had to delete it.

But apparently NOT before he saw it.

So I apologized again to John and informed him that his only recourse is to start his own blog and start his version of reality because I'm sticking to mine.

But what he said made me pause. Because I have been telling you, my friends, a big lie about who I really am. Because in the past, these are the kinds of pictures of myself I would deem worthy of posting:

Me in my rock star days. Another day. Another post.

But really, this is a more accurate description of what John has to see every day.

Yes - that's Shaila. But behind Shaila, you will see someone with her eyes rolling in the back of her head who looks like she is possessed. Like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist."

That's me. Granted - it's when I had gone into labor (and didn't realize it) and gave birth to Nico not many hours after this was taken. (And no - Shaila doesn't walk around in Indian clothes and bindis on most normal days - but that was a special day). I will tell you about that day tomorrow, but tonight I just wanted to set the record straight.

And so friends, after much photo sorting, selection, editing and ultimate dismissal is done - what I USUALLY show you see is what John really wishes I looked like most days.

I am all for pulling the wool over your eyes but I felt like I needed to come clean. Especially after someone called John a you know what.

Again - sorry about that husband.

Cuz I know you have to deal with the un-Photoshopped me day in, day out. And yet you still love me.

Sucker.

Kiran