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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Stringing Me Along

I just want to be clear.

Crystal Light clear.

I know that I have been saying things like, "Oh, I am off to London for a few days."

When I say things like that, please know that I have no misconceptions of being a high flyer or mistakenly think of myself as cool.

I oftentimes don't know what my work schedule will be like before I fly to these destinations, so I don't often get to use the time to re-unite with old friends who may be in those cities. I always plan to email them but knowing how often times, late nights at work or business dinners creep up, I sadly end up not getting to them with enough notice.

So I will usually work late, catch a casual dinner at a pub with colleagues and go back to my room and work until the wee hours of the morning, usually in preparation for some meeting the next day.

Room service on those late nights is not unusual.

And sometimes I even end up eating at restaurants alone.

Now, that may sound lonely, but in actuality, it's kind of nice. I do it rarely, as I will usually go wherever my colleagues want to go.

But on the rare occasion where they can't go out, I savor these times to myself.

Maybe it is the peace that comes with knowing I can order whatever I want on the menu without having to worry about when my two and a half year old Shaila is going to have a meltdown. Maybe it is because I don't have to cut up anybody's food into itty, bitty pieces while dodging said pieces of food when they come flying back at my head.

I don't have to give apologetic looks to surrounding tables because of the loud outbursts from Shaila, which then causes a subsequent outburst from Nico, my six month old.

When I leave, there are no surpising stickers stuck to my butt. Because it's always fun to come home after being out for several hours to find Hello Kitty hanging out on your freaking backside (which was never my best angle anyway).

And my kids are loud.

Like, really freaking loud.

Which is why we really don't go out that much. On the occassions where we brave it, we end up so miserable that I don't even have the energy to blog about it.

Well, almost don't have the energy. You know me, I freaking write about everything.

So, the other day, when I was going through Security at Washington Dulles, the cranky Security person pulled my purse aside after it went through the x-ray and asked if they could open it to check it.

I wasn't sure what the issue was. Had I left something liquid in there? Like a hand sanitizer? Were they going to bust me for having a lipgloss or something?

I was really worried, because I really am mortified when I do anything to slow down the security process. I try to do everything in record speed so that my fellow passengers won't get mad at me.

And that's when the Security crankster pulled out this long, white stick.

She looked at me in askance, and I looked back just as clueless. I could tell the rest of the people in the security line were also perplexed.

And then it hit me.

String Cheese.

String. Freaking. Cheese.

A Dried up, nasty ass piece of string cheese.

Shaila must have decided that she wanted me to have a memento of her.

(Ok, let's be honest. She probably got tired of the one she was eating one day and decided that my purse was as good a place as any to get rid of it. )

Oh no, she DIDN'T.

I could tell ALL the people behind me in line thought I was a total high roller.

Thanks, Shaila. Seriously, you're just. . . . Hmm. Well "The Best" just doesn't do you justice.

So please don't think that I think I am cool. The string cheese debacle just confirmed it. My life is one string cheese debacle after another and lest I ever think I am too cool for school, I am sure Girlfriend will knock me off my pedestal.

Cuz that's how she rolls.



Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Wow, Kiran. You just described every mother's life to a TEE. Strange stickers on my butt. Check.
Issuing out apologetic looks. Check. Strange, decrepid snacks at the bottom of my purse. Check.

I just haven't had the pleasure of having that snack exposed in front of a line of people.

You win.

Anonymous said...

Well, I think you ^and Surferwife. Are just the coolest. Is it weird that I am a 20 something blogger and I follow a bunch of mommy bloggers?! huh.

Shell said...

String cheese? LMAO

Try to enjoy your quiet time. A dinner out by myself sounds heavenly!

MiMi said...

This is why I know you're cool: cuz you don't think you are.
Poop in the hair at pictures? Yep. Nasty food in the bag? Yep. When you become a mom, you also become part of the Sisterhood of Perpetually Embarrassed. It's life. Isn't it awesome, though?

Ams said...

Hahaha I LOVE this... my life is one piece of sticky chewy gum debacle after another... I love life. And I am super duper NOT cool. lol

Sarah said...

What I wouldn't give to eat in a restaurant by myself! Sounds like absolute heaven. Enjoy those little moments in between the chaos. And I, for the record, am not cool!

singedwingangel said...

?Wait hold on your a mommy managing a family and a full time job that takes you away from home a lot so ye totally cool.. string cheese and all

Maven said...

Can you believe I once tried to pass through security with a pair of scissors in my briefcase?

I packed them for a presentation I was giving and have never felt like a bigger ASS in my whole life!

AJ said...


That is classic! Lovely!

I am so fond of finding dried food bits in my purse, I try to not dig too hard when searching. Started carrying around this little tiny purse, hoping my kids can't fit anything in there... now it's just in my pockets... or theirs. lol

Amber Page Writes said...

Ah, yes. Kids will keep you humble...I kinda dig evenings alone when away on business. Even eating out - it's just strangely relaxing, isn't it?

Julie (brown eyed belle) said...

String cheese??!! HAHAHA! I just died! She is one beautiful little kiddo, though :)

Theta Mom said...

String. Freaking. Cheese.

Priceless! To eat out alone sounds quite awesome right about now...

JoeyRes said...

I always have a sticker on me somewhere. Most recently it said, "I just got my eyes checked." I didn't.

Arizona Mamma said...

Sounds about right. My two little ones are 18 months apart, and restaurants are not a heck of a lot of fun....and string cheese in the purse? Like I said, that sounds about right.

Karls said...

I can relate to the work travel thing (although mine was only within the state (sometimes a conference in Sydney or Brisbane - but mainly all within a 6 hour drive). Can be very lonely and full of bad food.

Not quite sure what string cheese is... sounds revolting!

Anonymous said...

"Excuse me, ma'am.. is that a small block of C4 in your purse..?"

Ruby said...

omg that is too funny i probably would have freaked at the airport lol aren't children the best

Vodka Logic said...

Funny and cool.. thats a great combo.

At first I thought you were talking about not going out to eat with your co-workers.. and they were loud and needed their food cut up in itty bitty pieces..

Yep being alone can be a blessing.

Salt said...

Mmmm nasty string cheese. Lucky for her, she's really friggin adorable.

I am always so embarrassed to hold up the security line also. Once I got busted with a massive pair of sewing shears in my bag that I had forgotten to take out. That didn't go over very well.

Jane said...

Gotta love kids! I have the same feeling every time I find an unknown spit up stain. Once I was in line at the bank and noticed dried baby food on my arm. A nice big glob.

This is why God made kids cute. And she is freaking ADORABLE!

Lemon Gloria said...

HAHAHAHAHA! The cheese is excellent! Here you are all beautiful and off to London with some mysterious...string cheese...

Amy said...

Too funny! If I were one of your fellow traveling mates, watching the TA pull fossilized string cheese out of your purse, I would have gone over and high fived you!

We're all in the same boat, 'ya know;)

Mayhem and Moxie said...

Love your tag line and this post was even better. Kids are perfect for reminding us that we really are not as cool as we like to think we are.

However, flying anywhere alone qualifies for a lot in my book! :)

Rebekah said...

Ohmygod, I just found your blog through DC Metro Moms (which I also just found - how did I not know about that before?) and I LOVE this! Particularly because last night I had to have a long discussion with my 2 year old about why Mommy didn't want him to put the half-chewed strip of string cheese into her hand after he had grown tired of chewing it and really, just put it on the monkey placemat, please. Thank you for being awesome!

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to experience those days of motherhood. The dried up string cheese is just classic. LOL!

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Caroline said...

She is just adorable. Like you would need a memento to remember that much adorableness?? Maybe she just thought you might get hungry?


Qoddess said...

You've been quoted!


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