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Thursday, March 18, 2010

What the Hell is Wrong with Viva Glam?

I love lipstick.

It is one of my favorite vices.

I think I discovered it when I was about 13. Sadly for me, I did not realize that the bright, gaudy "Cherries in the Snow" and "Ravishing Red" clashed terribly (JUST TERRIBLY) with the gleaming silver of my braces.

I went everywhere with lipstick. I felt naked without it. Whether it was a a trip to the grocery store with my mom, an early morning 5-mile run with the girls cross-country team, or even a trip to the Indian Hindu temple, I felt a need to walk around like Bozo the clown and make sure my lips made a bigger entrance than any other part of me.

Less was NOT more. I looked like a (rhymes with "door").

I think all the years of making myself up like a cheap little strumpet paid a toll on me and nowadays, I find myself gravitating more to "chapstick" and "aquaphor" - not terribly sexy.

But VERY moisturizing. And they don't make me look like a two bit hooker.

When I walk by a MAC counter though, my head turns, and I yearn to go and explore all the colors. If I succumb, I usually will buy something low key with names like "Whirl" or "Twig" or "Nude" versus the much more exciting ones that scream "Saucy Vixen," "I'm Cheap and Easy," "Buy Me a Drink & You Might Get Lucky."

Because I'm in my 30's now and I think I need to keep it real.

I stumbled upon this article and wanted to share it with you. It's for a lipstick that changes color when a woman wants to have sex.

Wow.

Why in the Hell would anyone buy that? Would you buy it? I am flummoxed.

Chap-Stick for me baby.

XOXO,
Kiran

21 comments:

Rebekah said...

Oh. My. God. I might have to buy this just to see what happens!

Newlywed + Unemployed said...

Umm.. it's all about communication..? Yikes. :/

foxy said...

Wow. That's something else. These days, I use Burts Bees colored balm that gives me all the moisture with a hint of color and I LOVE IT. Like, cannot live without it, love it.

Salt said...

I want to buy it, but only to see if it actually works. I wonder if you put it on a man and then it would do the color change all the time?

Currently I am sticking with my Burts Bees and this neutral colored gloss. I can't remember who makes it, but it smells like chocolate cake. Double bonus.

Lemon Gloria said...

I don't believe it. Also, the guy would only know if you told him how it worked, right?

I've never done a good job of wearing lipstick, although I love how put together it makes you look. I always feel like I'm trying to be more of a grown up than I am or something.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Viva Glam is my fave. Love oyster Girl and dreamy, too.

meredith said...

wow. i think i'll stick with my burt's bees chapstick, too.

i'd like to see a man wear that in a bar. it'd be changing colors like mood ring!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

WTF?! That's WEIRD. No way in hell would I buy that!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I will admit to being very thrifty and would not buy it....... I would try a sample out of curiosity. Wonder what color it turns ..... wonder what happens when one has a hot flash. Is there a variation in the hue that would indicate the degree of lust? Wow, I seem to be giving this way too much thought!

webb said...

If it takes my lipstick changing colors for him to get the picture.... well, we have bigger problems than just "getting a little". Great post!

Amy said...

Make-up counters are my weakness! I could spend hours perusing the brushes and color palettes. I have never had a lipstick that I LLLOOOOVVVEEDDD, so I'm always in search for my lip stick soul mate;)

Colleen said...

Holy cow! No I wouldn't wear that! WFT? First, for the obvious reasons, but second, because if I put on a a lipcolor, I intend for it to stay that friggin color. Duh.

Also, I've never been into very bright lipcolors. When I was around 19 or 20, I used to wear this really cheap lipliner in a red-brown color called coaco, with clear gloss or Dr. Pepper chapstick over it. Looking back at pictures recently, it dawned on me that it was the best lipcolor I ever wore. Unfortuneately, it was some Canadian dollar store brand that I have never been able to duplicate since.

And, ah, my struggles with red . . .

AJ said...

That is awesome! I think it would be fun! But I don't actually wear lipstick. Sads.

I really don't like flavored chapstick (unless it's minty)

:)

Karls said...

I think the only time I've ever worn lippy in the last 5-7 years would have been my wedding. When I was a sales rep I'd wear a horrible colour called Cola. When I was young I'd wear bright red in my dancing concerts... that's about my history with the lippy!

KLZ said...

Men the world over are praying that women start buying that stuff.

I'm tempted to buy it just to see what my husband thinks. Likely he'll say "Really? You spent money on that?"

SaraPlaysHouse.com said...

A mood ring for Slutty McSlutpants!
I kinda like this. And I kinda want to buy some just to torture my husband when it turns color and the kids are still awake and needing attention.
IN YOUR FACE, HUSBAND!

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

Hopefully, hubs would be able to pick up my other body language in order to determine if I want to have sex so I wouldn't need lipstick that blared like a billboard, "Me So Horny!" :)

Allyson said...

I'm pretty sure it's obvious when I want to have sex. I don't need my lips to exclaim it as well. And I say...NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR RED LIPS. Ok yes, maybe not in the day-to-day world...but if you're going to get kicked out of the American Legion, why not do so in style?? Plus...if you have the teeth (which you do) you should totally take advantage. Mine are a nice shade of Pledge-can-yellow due to years of red wine and coffee and avoided dentist visits. But if you have the whitey whites, then red it is! Although I do love a little Burt's Bees on my lips. And anything that tastes like strawberry....

I am this EXACT same way every time I pass a Claire's or Afterthoughts.

lacochran said...

Wonder how that works. Huh.

T!nK said...

go for sauciness!!

Amanda said...

If I have my full "face" on, I feel naked without lipstick. I put it on all day long. But if I'm home, it's carmex for me. I put it on like crazy at night. Hubby has to kiss me first because he hates the feeling on his own lips. :) Which is why I wouldn't buy the sex lipgloss!

 

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