Who's In?

I sometimes wish that I had written this blog anonymously.

Had I been ANY kind of smart when I started this whole thing a little over a year ago, I might have realized that this blog would be as much of an emotional outlet as it would become a creative one for me - one in which I might want to write a little bit more frankly than those I love might be comfortable with as I bitched about marriage (yes my husband knows I, Kiran, am Masala Chica) , vented about a co-worker (yes, some of them read this too) or wrote about something a little too embarrassing that might make my neighbors want to sell their home to be away from me (yes, even in a down economy).

So I filter. And where I once saw this blog as an emotional outlet - a place where I could really tell you how I saw the world, I stopped speaking my voice. You see - I knew most of my audience now - and my readers had a name. In many ways, their shared comments, posts and emails connected me to them in addition to the "readers" who live life alongside me - whether its family, friends and colleagues.

As I first began writing, it was more of a "Hey guys, I write. Do you want to stop by and have a look?" The need for validation further drove me as I immersed myself within the welcoming and empowering arms of the blogger community - always encouraging- and willing to share their opinions. I made some great friends along the way - many of whom I consider my tribe of women - writers I started this journey with who have my back if I ever need, but I who I don't necessarily need for validation or vice versa. It is beyond that.

They are now friends.

And I hope they know that because sometimes I am really crappy about commenting back and stuff ;)

A few friends and readers have asked where the heck I have been? "Aren't you writing anymore?" Well, I have. I have been. But in many ways, I have felt the writing was so personal, that I didn't know if I could go there.

There has also been a side effect of something which I have shared with you. A lot of my desire for writing has been tempered over the past year as I have watched two of my close friends, Stan and Sherri Carmical weather something extremely difficult and heartwrenching. To give you some context, they are close neighbors and friends. Our son, Nico was born on August 6th. Their twin sons, Cole and Declan were born on August 26th.

As many of you know, Declan passed away on August 18th, after a brave, amazingly courageous battle with cancer. 7 days before his birthday. My friend's lives have not been the same.

While I am at the periphery in many ways, my life is no longer the same either. You can't have an angel cross your path and enlighten you on something that needs to be changed to help so many other children . . . to well . . . ignore it. I can't ignore Declan's call.

We can't.

There were times I wanted to write - but this was not my story to write. Sherri's voice during this time has been all I needed - and her sincerity and the organic way in which she related to her audience, letting everone know how she plans to rebuild in honor of Declan is incredible..and knowing that words were healing her right now made me realize that for Sherri, in so many ways her lack of anonymotiy has made her writing all the more meaningful and powerful. In her readers now - there are friends and family and a heartfelt community who will raise heaven and earth to raise awareness.

Because we love the Carmical family. And it's what needs to be done right now.

So, here's the deal. I am writing again. Here is where I need your support.

1. I am going to be me. I may say things about how I feel about religion, politics, my hatred of American football and how it has sucked the hopes of any romance out of my life. I will tell you about things that may sound vacuous and silly when you are reading them - just know that if I am writing about something inane - it's more likely that there is something bigger out there, that I am not ready to approach.

2. Stan and Sherri are launching a new site in honor of Declan. They are turning this devastation into somthing that will mobilize families who have to endure what they have been through - to empower people to understand what cancer really means when we look at our youth. If you are interested in helping raise awareness for their site, please let me know. I will be sending out a press packet to bloggers who want to help when the site does its "hard" launch.

In honor of Declan Carmical - and all the other brave warriors out there who can beat this thing - the Carmicals will be launching this site soon. Let us know if you want in! We would love your help to blog about the site on its launch date to connect people to the story and the mission.

http://www.journey4acure.org/

Love,
Kiran