tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post1186720676832733316..comments2023-09-10T04:57:47.447-04:00Comments on Masala Chica: Mommies Talk GayMasala Chicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713762033892464889noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-59778565970641737672010-11-27T15:00:52.493-05:002010-11-27T15:00:52.493-05:00Beautifully written. I can only hope that my child...Beautifully written. I can only hope that my child grows up happy and fulfilled...no matter what his sexuality is! And I will support him to my dying day...because I'm his mama!BonBon Rose Girls Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10699626979106427874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-15446839367502718702010-11-24T23:29:40.443-05:002010-11-24T23:29:40.443-05:00This aint yo mama's mama blog!
You are by far...This aint yo mama's mama blog!<br /><br />You are by far, like leaps and bounds far, one of the most articulate bloggers I have read. And trust me, when I was a promiscuous blogger, I read my share. These days I lay low a litte more.<br /><br />Anyway, back to you. This is sensational writing. I am with you 100% when it comes to loving your children no matter their sexual orientation. I also find it a very tough pill to swallow to think that sexual orientation is a choice. I suppose there are those who <i>do</i> simply chose it. For whatever reason. I wouldn't be shocked to learn that. Let's just say that would be an exception to the rule.<br /><br />As for the surrounding yourself with like-minded people. I read Texan Mama's comment, and I say the following with the utmost respect. First, and very simply, being surrounded by homosexual people will no more make my children gay than being surrounded by left handed people will make them lefties. Second, if the "like mindedness" is just making the decision to not act on homosexuality, to make a <i>choice</i> if you will, to not participate in that lifestyle, would that not be the same as living a lie? In my opinion it would be like me telling my daughter that it is wrong to be a girl. That in order to live a good and moral life, she needs to live as a man. What torture would that be? Why on earth would I want to subject my child to that? In the end, I think love trumps it all. Love them for who they are. Not for who you would have them be.Shannon K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06049248087501846788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-9902852995477085052010-11-24T11:51:54.281-05:002010-11-24T11:51:54.281-05:00First off - thank you for the sweet comment on my ...First off - thank you for the sweet comment on my blog, I truly appreciate and loved it!!! oxox<br /><br />I am a huge advocate for equal rights for all. This entire post brings up so many great points and I want to read it again when I'm at home and not distracted!!! Well done!Kelly @ turned UP to ELEVEN!https://www.blogger.com/profile/17316990503032552760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-71824289105429442742010-11-23T18:31:06.278-05:002010-11-23T18:31:06.278-05:00As someone who is transgender, this was nice to re...As someone who is transgender, this was nice to read.LL Cool Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13916666100971008775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-76516045504418257262010-11-23T11:31:20.174-05:002010-11-23T11:31:20.174-05:00I think your opinion depends on your beliefs. I d...I think your opinion depends on your beliefs. I don't think anyone should be discriminated against but, I am not in agreement with legalizing gay marriage.<br /><br />Once again, my opinion stems from my Christian beliefs.<br /><br />I have some gay men that I am very close with. I love them like they are my brothers. Do I agree with the lifestyle? Nope. Would I agree with them getting married? Nope.<br /><br />But I love them none-the-less. What we need in this world is love. <br /><br />Even the bible says that you can have all of the talents in the world, but if you don't have love for your brother (friends, neighbors, family, strangers and even your enemies), those talents mean nothing.K.R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02628707697885884085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-3547949623710334162010-11-23T07:29:50.297-05:002010-11-23T07:29:50.297-05:00You've (all) said it so well. Successful marr...You've (all) said it so well. Successful marriages/partnerships are built on love and trust and respect - all values that all parents (and teachers) try to teach. Loving our children unconditionally is the important part. I keep reading that "the younger generation" - whoever that is! - is more tolerant and that the whole question of "gay marriage" will become passe' soon. That would be a good next step. Good writing!webbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15168174623602308906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-21559327238256416412010-11-23T07:10:47.545-05:002010-11-23T07:10:47.545-05:00Archana said it well. You write beautifully and m...Archana said it well. You write beautifully and make the reader say, "That is exactly what I wanted to say!" <br /><br />That said, I must say I am impressed with your article and with your commenters and readers for keeping such a dignified discussion about this topic. Nice job ladies!<br /><br />As a Christian lady and <i> and </i> someone that has gay members of her family, I can honestly say that I am in Masala's camp. Sexual orientation,in my opinion, has no more to do with a person's values as does a person's preference for the color blue versus the color red. My favorite aunt ( a lesbian and teacher for 40 years) also had the most stable "marriage" out of any of the other members of her generation within the family. I definitely see her and her partner as role models for a love that lasted almost 40 years until the day she died.<br /><br />I only wish that my children will find their partners (whatever sex they may be)to love completely and share their lives with. <br /><br />I only wish for their happiness and for their love too!:)Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14504935960139318171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-45252542090991337472010-11-23T01:12:31.931-05:002010-11-23T01:12:31.931-05:00Once again a beautifully written article. The best...Once again a beautifully written article. The best part about your writing is how it makes one go "Thats exactly what I wanted to say", but you say it in the best way. :)<br />Lending an Indian perspective, Id say its just one more. One more of those umpteen lists of things parents excpect their kids to look for in their prospective partner - state of origin, language, religion, caste, creed, financial background of the family and now theres gender too. And the worst part is how these take the front seat in order of importance instead of whether the person is able to love, understand, support and just be their in that special way for my kid,forever.<br />Again, just like you said it, not saying its not an important aspect (the gender), but at the end its importance should be in only 2 ways - can this person make him happy. Can their relation stand the pressure test of "society".Archnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16745883701427858278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-89494590715197751692010-11-22T22:24:43.227-05:002010-11-22T22:24:43.227-05:00Coming out of the "Maven" closet and pos...Coming out of the "Maven" closet and posting as myself to tell you I LOVED this! <br /><br />"I just wish them love."<br /><br />I don't think anyone else could have said it better. <br /><br />xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoLyndsay Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06382324380724354831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-6101372303804672182010-11-22T22:17:29.844-05:002010-11-22T22:17:29.844-05:00Seeker of Truth
Thanks for your response. Genetic...<b>Seeker of Truth</b><br /><br />Thanks for your response. Genetic science is not an area I am the conversant in, though I have a friend who has a PhD in genetics, so I should hit her up ;-)<br /><br />However, none of my friends who are gay were raised by parents who were gay. They were raised in households that were fairly traditional.<br /><br />If you look at what they were exposed to, and many of the common stories that I have heard - there is a thread within many of there stories that is very much the same - they tried and TRIED to not be gay - they knew what challenges were before them, they knew some of the judgement they would face - and they knew how difficult it would be to tell parents (all straight themselves) that they were gay.<br /><br />I don't believe that gay is a result of nuture over nature. Ask the countless parents who internally struggle with their own children being gay and not understanding how this happened.<br /><br />"Heck - we go to church every sunday!"<br />"He plays Football for chrissake"<br />"He's in a fraternity. He can't be gay."<br /><br />When a child exhibits signs of homosexuality sometimes as early as 2 or 3 years of age - I don't think it has anything to do with choice.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing your thoughts. As a non-Christian, I am not familiar with all Scripture, but I will read John 8:2-11 tonight.<br /><br />Have a good night everyone . . .<br /><br />KiranMasala Chicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04713762033892464889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-84849444491013925162010-11-22T22:16:21.341-05:002010-11-22T22:16:21.341-05:00Gretchen (Texan Mama),
Thanks for your response a...<b>Gretchen (Texan Mama)</b>,<br /><br />Thanks for your response and thanks for clarifying as well. I appreciated your post and your opinion as well, though it was different from my own. While we disagree on some things, I think you are right in that the lines that divide us are all leading us to the common goal of trying to give our kids the best foundation on which to grow.<br /><br />When I look at choices that can be made in life - I tend to think they supersede gender. Sexual promiscuity, disrespect, lack of discipline, narcissism, lack of empathy for those around them - those are area where I guarantee we both agree that there are some common values that we probably both define as being deficient.<br /><br />When I was growing up and in school, there was always a certain level of curiosity I would display towards my teachers. I never really thought much about it in depth, but it made them real to me. So I would listen when Mr. Growhowski would share stories about his weekend with his wife and children - or when Mrs. Lehrhaupt would tell us about her kids and we always knew that she would be extra happy on Wednesdays, because that was her date night with her husband. I loved my teachers - loved having the context of their lives help paint a picture for me of this very real and very authentic person who was teaching me. It made me that more passionate about learning through their voices.<br /><br />The teachers I connected with in some way - are the ones whose classes pulled me in.<br /><br />I think that it's normal for a teacher to be asked by students about their life in passing, or for them to share some level of information. If she starts talking about anything "inappropriate," I think it's different. I would feel the same way if a heterosexual teacher was inappropriate in sharing too much.<br /><br />It is also possible that our kids will be exposed to teachers who are going through a divorce. I doubt they will openly discuss it with children, but it IS possible that they may catch some glimmer of that. They might have a friend whose parent is an alcoholic. Their friend may still have the same exact values as your child - but does it mean you would stop them from being friends because of that parent's weakness? <br /><br />You can shield your kids to an extent - but it's likely that the gay teacher shares many of the same values that you do, regardless of her orientation. Honesty, integrity - you know - things like that which our kids need to be exposed to<br /><br />In reading your posts Gretchen, I respect that you are so passionate about your own beliefs. It's great to have conversations that don't end in venom and really are about dialogue. Thank you for so graciously continuing that.Masala Chicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04713762033892464889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-40451504217627304832010-11-22T22:15:46.123-05:002010-11-22T22:15:46.123-05:00Sara, Karls, Anna, Trooper and Anne Marie - thank...<b>Sara, Karls, Anna, Trooper and Anne Marie </b> - thanks guys for your thoughts. I think we would be first to get the rainbow decals if that day comes.Masala Chicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04713762033892464889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-11088242662357938712010-11-22T18:15:58.003-05:002010-11-22T18:15:58.003-05:00Hey, thanks for the compliment on my writing, even...Hey, thanks for the compliment on my writing, even though we disagree. <br /><br />I just hope I can clarify that when I say I want to surround my children with people who have similar values as ours, I understand that means different things for different people. I have always taught my children to love people no matter what their differences are. I have taught them that every person is deserving of love, and that it's possible to love a person and yet not agree with them (or the choices they make.)<br /><br />And, by the way, just so I'm clear, I'm not saying being gay is a choice. I am saying that choosing to participate in a gay lifestyle is a choice. Just like being a heterosexual is not a choice but choosing to engage in premarital sex is a choice, one I don't agree with either.<br /><br />My point is this: we are all trying to give our children the best start we can. I am not trying to shield them from anyone, but I am hoping that people who have influence on them are people who mirror my own values.<br /><br />In this way, I can guess, there are a lot of readers who would choose to not have ME be an influential person in THEIR child's life, because I probably don't reflect their values. Doesn't mean I can't meet or talk to their kids, but I'm guessing they wouldn't want me to teach values to their children.<br /><br />That's what I am worried about with this teacher because, as a teacher, it is part of her job to teach values. And that concerns me.<br /><br />I know my kids are growing up and making their own decisions about what's right and what's wrong, and all I was saying is that I want to try to give them a foundation that comes from my heart.<br /><br />I think you do a great job discussing the subject and I appreciate a chance to share my feelings about it again.Gretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00039056206420438194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-81441074998348909372010-11-22T17:36:07.551-05:002010-11-22T17:36:07.551-05:00Thanks for your comment back M.C. I actually poste...Thanks for your comment back M.C. I actually posted about this topic a week ago: http://www.dogsandjeans.com/2010/11/scooby-doo-lifestyle-choices.htmlTrooper Thornhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09914276373305636583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-64496273756720620782010-11-22T16:31:00.613-05:002010-11-22T16:31:00.613-05:00Hey, Kiran. I disagree with Texan Mama on surroun...Hey, Kiran. I disagree with Texan Mama on surrounding kids only with those like-minded. I think kids should have experience with various types of people (in a safe environment, of course), with guidance from the parents on what is right or wrong.<br /><br />To be honest, though, I don't believe being gay or straight is genetic. So far as I know, no gay gene has been found yet while there are many home and social factors that correspond relatively well with sexual orientation.<br /><br />Does that mean if my kids, when I have them, grow up and are gay that I will not love them? Certainly not. Love must be unconditional or it is not really love.<br /><br />A true Christian, I think, does their best to live as Christ actually lived. If you've read the Bible, the only people you see Him harsh with are those leading the people astray and sometimes His disciples for a lack of faith despite seeing all the miracles He worked. He never came down on most people; His love was unflagging. John 8:2-11 is a great read if you have a minute.Seeker of Truthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099607532694296031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-69089657747945377892010-11-22T16:00:51.246-05:002010-11-22T16:00:51.246-05:00I love my kids, no matter what. If they are gay, y...I love my kids, no matter what. If they are gay, you'll see a rainbow sticker on my car in no time.Anna Whiston-Donaldsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14921348961654008115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-766273296589975332010-11-22T14:48:02.402-05:002010-11-22T14:48:02.402-05:00My sentiment exactly! I was just mulling this over...My sentiment exactly! I was just mulling this over in my own head not yesterday. Values like honesty and tolerance are way more important than sexual orientation. When I have children my biggest hope is that they are happy... If that involves being with someone of the opposite sex or of the same, so be it - I find it irrelevant. Provide they treat each other with love and respect, I'll be a happy woman. You go girl!Karlshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17863180811146009322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-1797574844922724012010-11-22T14:40:39.016-05:002010-11-22T14:40:39.016-05:00Well stated M.C.
I think so many parents get upse...Well stated M.C. <br />I think so many parents get upset about the prospect of their child being gay, to the point of fighting common sense by removing anything that they see as "gender confusing" its because they assume their child's sexual orientation reflects on them in some way.<br /><br />If my child is gay, it has no more to do with my ability to parent that it would if they did well in math or were unable to carry a tune. Children have qualities and attributes that are uniquely their own. <br /><br />We can teach and model values like love, discipline, tolerance, perseverance and intellectual capacity. Even then, there is no guarantee they adopt those ideals.Trooper Thornhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09914276373305636583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-55241496203568724772010-11-22T14:39:47.809-05:002010-11-22T14:39:47.809-05:00Kiran,
Once again you captured my feelings complet...Kiran,<br />Once again you captured my feelings completely! Thanks for putting them out there!Anne Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09266062241637348865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9199765814601282547.post-41340605873003664032010-11-22T13:57:22.416-05:002010-11-22T13:57:22.416-05:00Thanks for the mention and for keeping this conver...Thanks for the mention and for keeping this conversation going. As usual--beautifully written.<br />And so right--all we want for our children is what we want for ourselves: love, honesty, respect. Not so much to ask, really, but without the proper foundation we give them as their parents, they'll never be able to find it on their own.SaraPlaysHouse.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00440131337420673865noreply@blogger.com